Last night my friend suggested to my hubby we go on a date while she babysat the kids. I have been fighting intense oppression from battle fatigue and constantly being physically nauseous for 4 wks since we crossed over into new spiritual territory.
I suggested we go to Café Amore for cheesecake, throwing obedience to the wind because what benefit has it gained me thus far besides the most intense warfare in my life??? Sometimes you question if the intensity of battle is really worth a reward that has been so long in coming that it has become foggy. Sometimes Job’s wife gets louder than the knowing of and resolve for our marching orders that have caused so much suffering in the obedience. “Why hang on to your integrity??? Just curse God and die already!” (Job 2:9)
I’m being real here because I know I’m not the only one feeling this and you need to know you CAN overcome it! Don’t give up! The devil knows the only way he can win is if you quit standing after you have done everything you know how. (Eph 6:13)
The obedience referred to in this case is that back in July 2019, the LORD gave me clear instructions that I was to abstain from sweets & desserts as a first step into activating my calling to ministering to Him. He had been asking me when I would fully step into my Zadok anointing (Eze 44:6-31) instead of just towing the line. A simple act of obedience simply because He asked.
He later confirmed this with a story of Reese Howell (I think that’s his name), who the LORD gave instructions to not wear a hat in public, something contrary to the culture of the day. When he obeyed and put God first, he was given one of the greatest prayer ministries in the world and was integral in providing divine knowledge and strategies to win WW2. If you can’t be faithful in a little thing, how can He trust you to be faithful in the big things?
Once at Café Amore, my hubby started to order cheesecake while I browsed the menu. At the last second, I suddenly changed my mind thinking suddenly having sugar after so long would flip the nausea into outright vomiting and I couldn’t handle anymore misery. I got the artichoke-spinach dip instead, surprising both the waitress and my husband. What woman turns down chocolatey cheesecake for vegetables???
On the way home, I felt the LORD telling me so clearly the cheesecake was my bowl of pottage. Had I succumbed to the siren call of the cheesecake, I would have given away my inheritance just like Esau over a fleshly desire but my obedience prevailed, by a hair.
I share this story with you to show you how easy it is to lose it all. Obedience is THAT important to God. How many of you would think having a piece of cheesecake would cost you your inheritance? I mean, there isn’t a commandment in the Bible that says, “Thou shalt not suffer yourself to eat cheesecake!” Yet I KNEW the voice of the LORD had commanded this specific thing for me.
For Samson, he committed many sins and atrocities, yet it was the obedience to THAT thing commanded to his mother, in his case not cutting his hair, that kept his strength – until he was wearied to the point of breakdown by the seduction of a woman. Once he gave away his hair, he inadvertently gave away his eyes and his strength and anointing.
What has the voice of the LORD commanded YOU to obey, to test your faithfulness? This is where we need to KNOW His voice because it’s in the wishy-washy doubt-filled static that we succumb to faithlessness and lose out on our Promised Land. The 10 spies gave away the inheritance of an entire generation because they didn’t KNOW their supernatural God better than the giants they could see with their natural eyes.
I pondered how I had gotten so close to throwing it all away, even while I had listened to the prophets and applied their wisdom so I would prosper. The LORD reminded me of the verse, “41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matt 26:41). Many prophets have warned we need to be upping the ante in our prayer and fasting time to strengthen our spirits. They have warned we need to be keeping praise in our mouths to overcome the battle right now – keeping our tongues aligned with life.
Our family acted on that, intentionally spending time daily in singing together to be in unison in voice and spirit (and some of them dancing also) as well as increasing our family prayer time. I had upped my personal prayer time, both in English and praying in tongues throughout the day, and spending time in the word. The adults in the home had all engaged in some form of fasting.
BUT what the LORD highlighted that I had becoming lax in being on guard against mental temptation, thinking my offensive tactics were enough, and I forgot to heighten my defensive strategies also. The key to identifying temptation is to identify & squash those SUBTLE compromises that start in our THOUGHTS against the commandments of His voice and declare with our voices the blessing that is attached to that commandment. The moment we even allow our minds to dwell upon compromise; the devil has us in a noose because our focus is off the LORD.
The more our focus turns onto our difficulties and misery and the intensity of battle, the less our focus is on God and what He IS doing! He IS winning! It’s up to us if we are going to stay vigilant so that we get to celebrate the victory march at the end of this battle or end up as a casualty of war. The LORD warned me last fall when we shifted from spiritual boot camp into special forces training that 60% won’t make it through this phase due to the intensity. Forewarned is forearmed. Learn from my near miss and position yourself to be a part of the 40% that makes it to the victory line.
Keep the transparent communication lines open with your comrades who are in the heat of battle with you so that they can help cover you when you are blind to the sniper scope light on the back of your head. Now is not the time to be wasting precious mental energy on distractions like studying origami folding or planning future décor ideas with your mother-in-law when the bullets are flying. Don’t fall for the shaming that you didn’t see every single tactic. We are in a battle together, not lone soldiers, everyone sharing the load and covering each other’s backs, able to pick up the other when they stumble so that later, they can share their ration packs when yours leaked from shrapnel fallout.
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